When golf is not golf

It was late November when Oldgolfdawg played his last round of golf in 2009. An April-to-late-November window of playing time is pretty good for golfers in central Ohio. But if Oldgolfdawg lived where he could play all year, he'd still be out chasing the pea. So what can a golf addict do in the off-season? If he's smart, he'll just accept the cold, hard facts of the situation and enjoy it.

Oldgolfdawg doesn't run with the hardy souls who venture out when temperatures dip into the '30s and '40s. Instead he catches up on golf magazines laying around the house and plots strategy on how he can lower his handicap in 2010.

He was browsing the Golf Digest Web site today when he read an article by Peter Morrice, an editor for the magazine, that captured his feelings on the subject perfectly. It read:

When I think about golf, I see green acres, bright-blue skies, Bermuda shorts, not ski caps and frozen puddles. Not my breath. I know a lot of golfers think they're playing golf year-round. But when you can't feel your grip, or hammer a tee in the turf, it's not really golf. When you're putting on makeshift greens in the fairways, and the bunkers play like a gravel road, it's not really golf. It's just getting out of the house.

I hang up my clubs in November and try to remember where I put them in April. I like those delicious first rounds of spring, when you don't know what to expect of your old game and you feel so damn good just being back out there. Golfers without an off-season deprive themselves of those sweet reunions.

So call me stupid, call me a fair-weather whatever. I'll do it my way, packing on my winter 10, watching too much bad TV. Waiting. But remember, I get to feel that thrilling anticipation of the return, when the grass wakes up and the sun can warm your shoulders. To me, that's when golf is really played.

Oldgolfdawg couldn't agree more. He uses the downtime of winter to recharge his batteries, lose bad habits that were cropping up in his game as the season wound down and to set new goals for the coming year. And it certainly is true that absence only serves to make the attraction stronger. He'll be chomping at the bit to resume the chase when the temperatures return to the '50s and the dormant grass springs to life and returns to brighter, richer shades of green. In the meantime, he suggests just to relax and enjoy The Big Chill.

Lure of the quick fix

Oldgolfdawg was doing what he does best the other day, putting a dent in his favorite couch while surfing the cable television offerings. His search for something of interest stopped on The Golf Channel where the latest cure for a flea-bitten putting stroke was being pitched in a slick infomercial.

After viewing the Inside Down the Line Putting System (insidedowntheline.com) for a few minutes, Oldgolfdawg was almost ready to spring from the couch and into a buying frenzy. Like Ulysses in Homer's epic Odyssey poem, his ears were being tortured by the sirens sweetly singing. A half-hour infomercial showing putt after putt dropping into the cup had him salivating like one of Pavlov's dogs. Putting being the weakest link in Oldgolfdawg's game, the teaching aid appeared to be "The Holy Grail" that would finally satisfy his forlorn hunger for putting satisfaction.

Luckily, the dent in the couch was deep and Oldgolfdawg came to his senses before he could escape the gravity of the situation. As minutes of inaction passed, Oldgolfdawg began to remember similar "Holy Grail" moments and the outcomes they produced. A Dave Pelz Putting Track, a pair of Proaim putting glasses and an assortment of devices from the Ernie Els Rockroller putting stroke trainer system are currently collecting dust in his basement. Did this aspirational collection of teaching devices obtained in the endless pursuit of knowledge really need another casualty?

Failed pro Roy McAvoy of Tin Cup fame didn't think much of teaching aids as the owner of a rundown driving range. In the movie, McAvoy, played by Kevin Costner, advised female psychiatrist Molly Griswold, played by Renee Russo, to get rid of all that crap. Oldgolfdawg agrees. If you think one of the teaching devices being hawked on The Golf Channel is really going to help your game, you're probably barking up the wrong tree.

Instead of buying another contraption, Oldgolfdawg would suggest two books, each offering a distinct school of thought. One, The Art of Putting by Stan Utley with Matthew Rudy, believes the best putting results are produced by a stroke in the shape of an arc. The other, Putt Like The Pros by Dave Pelz with Nick Mastroni, is more scientific and advocates a straight back and straight through stroke.

Oldgolfdawg says pick your poison and then hit the practice putting green. He's read both books and still finds himself re-inventing his stroke on every green when he's putting bad and not even thinking about it when he's putting good.

Fore-ward mission statement

Oldgolfdawg has been chasing the little white pea for more than 40 years and still can't think of many things he'd rather do than hit the links. He is launching this blog to share his thoughts and insights about golf to anyone similarly addicted to the sport. Many of the future posts on Chase The Pea will concentrate on things of interest to golfers in central Ohio, but Oldgolfdawg considers any golf-related topic to be fair game.

Having a wee bit of Scotsman is in his blood, Oldgolfdawg likes to stretch his pennies. The term "cheap bastard" applies, but value-oriented or thrifty sounds nicer. Anyway, Oldgolfdawg is always on the look out for golf bargains. When he finds them he will be compelled to yap about it. In this way Oldgolfdawg hopes to help others in their pursuit of memorable moments on the links. If a community of like-minded golfers develops from this blog, Oldgolfdawg hopes any and all shared insights will benefit "golf dawgs" everywhere.